weekly thoughts (new wildcat, autumnal symbols, performativity, climate)
weather: ☀️ ok
critters: swallowtails; monarchs; scrub jays
A NEW CAT TOUCHES THE BEACON
a new little spotty wildcat, the tilcayo, was identified in bolivia recently (by scientists--it seems indigenous people already knew about it)
"i didn't know we had new cats," said S. "i thought it was new beetles for the rest of time." me too, really
wait these autumn signifiers barely signify
we in southern california have got to stop participating in the new england autumn aesthetic industrial complex. every year this annoys me a little more; every year i feel the strain of imagining (the american) community when i'm about as far as it's possible to get from new england and remain in the continental US. our turkeys don't look like that! our oaks stay green! their acorns are long!
as aesthetic replacements, i suggest quail, beans, pomegranates, pine cones (because of the pinyon nuts), toyon berries, western sycamore leaves, and prickly pears. pomegranates are not native, but we sure have a lot of them this time of year
we can keep the corn and squash and gourds though. stuff 'em in the cornucopia
FINALLY
the most recent issue of art bar has an interview with brandi milne, one of my favorite living painters. she's a genius ok
this issue is also the first pop art mag i've ever read that doesn't have a single mickey mouse image in it. not even adjacent critters like goofy or donald duck. no disney entities whatsoever. hallelujah! no i don't think an image of mickey mouse melting like wax or smoking a cigar is interesting
incomplete criticism
is "performative" a worthless criticism now? has it been since we stopped using "poser" as an insult? it's a little ridiculous for me to criticize aesthetic choices or expressions of political belief as "performative" when literally everything is performative in 2026. we are all posers (or something else)
S observed that "performative" used to be reserved for like, actors or musicians holding das kapital in public like they're not also wearing outfits that cost as much as a new camry, but now it just means "noticeable," and is used to quash both dissent against neoliberalism and harmless acts of personal whimsy
so if i have to use "performative" to criticize a book or celebrity &c. in the future, i'm actually gonna dissect it and try to be more precise. just saying something is "performative" feels akin to just calling something "problematic." those words can't be the end of the argument because those words don't mean much alone. how is it problematic? or performative? what judgment am i passing when i say this? am i complaining just to complain or am i actually onto something?
i don't like thunder
the jungle heat we've been suffering all summer has finally turned away and now it's cooler at night. even had to wear a jacket on the trip home yesterday. still way too warm and muggy in the mornings, but i'll take what i can get
my memories of cool summer evenings are starting to fray at the edges. i think it's been since 2021 or 2022 that the summers have gotten way too tropical for this region. there are too many thunderstorms. the air is too much like bathwater
some of the beaches here washed completely away (el niño, currently the entire answer when the speaker doesn't want to say "climate apocalypse"). the ocean is lashing cliffs that used to stay dry except at king tides. eventually, some authority will import more sand...
i knew this stuff was going to happen, because it was predicted by smart people a pretty long time ago. i knew "climate grief" was as real as climate change. i expected to feel it grab me more and more as time went on and the people in power were doing nothing. they were doing nothing in 2006 and they are doing nothing now, twenty years after they should have done something
none of the mental preparation has helped. like how i knew my grandfather was dying. nothing to be done. what was the point of grief? but i was still sad
i want to be more excited about a new wildcat discovery. i love cats, domestic and wild--since childhood, most of my favorite animals have been different kinds of cats. but i'm terrified about what happens to small wildcats. environmental destruction, fur trade, pet trade
maybe it's the last new cat we'll ever find. i'm glad i, thousands of miles away, got to see the image of a tilcayo, but maybe it should've stayed a secret